Relationships: When you are no longer prepared to continue, let them go

When people walk away from you, let them walk

By Royce Mapaike

Pastor TD Jakes was on point when he said, “When people walk away from you, let them walk. Stop begging people to stay. Don’t try to talk another person into staying with you, loving you, calling you, caring about you, coming to see you. When people walk away from you, let them go.”

I know such sentiments are hard to bear, but as you put more effort in begging someone to stay in your life, you are hurting yourself even more and the scars are likely to last for a long time.

I know it sounds harsh, but begging is degrading.

It is difficult to accept that a relationship is over as one would have had future plans and some usually rush to cry over wasted time.

Yes, moving on has never been easy but one has to understand that it was never meant to be and life has to continue, so let them walk.

No matter how wonderful that person was, when they decide it’s over; never try to convince them otherwise because the next thing you will find yourself in a ‘‘solo’’ relationship. Most of the dead relationships are because the other party begged someone to stay or they threatened to commit suicide.

After doing such acts, your party will stay because you begged him/her to do so, but the truth is that it will be over. It is better to be alone than to be with someone who does not love you and is just in the relationship because you begged him/her to.

The problem with begging someone to be with you is that she/he will never respect you. For example, there are marriages where men spend nights and days away, even when he returns he never explains where he had been. If you ask him about his whereabouts, he will remind you that he does not owe you any explanation as he no longer loves you.

Begging and pleading kills respect

Begging and pleading kills respect. Of course he might stay, but he will never show you any respect. Is that truly someone you want in your life?

Once a person gets to know that you are too desperate to have her or him in your life, they begin to take you for granted. This can make your life miserable and it hurts so much to be taken for granted, being treated as if you do not exist.

Truth be told, a person who really loves you would not make you beg him/her to stay in a relationship as he needs you as much as you do. If you are in love with someone and that person turns you into a beggar, then walk away as no one is worth begging for. If you have to beg, they are not worth it.
No matter the problems you have had, could it be cheating on him or telling lies, if he/she truly loved you, you would solve the problem amicably by discussing the issue and fixing it. You wouldn’t need to beg. You might have to give him space temporarily, but you would work through things together.

I Justifying rash decisions

It’s terrifying to have someone you love leave you, but it’s OK. You might suddenly be single or feel alone after your partner leaves, but it’s not the end of the world. You are perfectly fine on your own, so embrace it and don’t beg. If you do it once, he will expect you to do it all the time when something goes wrong.

At times you can try and justify the rash decisions people make during a fight and calling for talks the next day, not a bad idea. But if you fail to agree and work through your issues, accept that it is over and stop trying to change his/her mind.

After begging him to stay, he will do so for a week, but later on leave. Begging strips away your strength and leaves you bare and weak. In the end, you are still going to get hurt!

Nothing just happens. If they walked away and you tried to make it work, but it wouldn’t work, know that it was not an accident. Accept it for what it is, cry, wash your face and with time you will get over it and move on. It is better to be disappointed and heartbroken because one day you will get over it than to sacrifice your happiness for the rest of your life.

There is nothing as devastating as living a life of being a beggar. If it takes too much sweat, you don’t need it. So stop begging people to stay. Let them go!

Royce Mapaike is with Exquisite Entertainment

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